The following dialog is included with permission. Facilitating the Four Question & Turnaround (the Work of Byron Katie) is Andi Mac-Steward and the one answering is "S.". S. is married and lives in the U.S.
As you read through this dialog, you're encouraged to answer the questions personally for yourself.
Doing this work on a thought...
STATEMENT: My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable.
Andi: Okay S. is that true?
S: I don't know about the comfortable part really… well, yes let's just go with it. Yes it's true. My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable. I'm thinking of comfort as the ability to go about my business with the confidence our government is doing the right thing by the whole country.
Andi: Can you absolutely know that it's true your government should keep you safe, secure and comfortable?
S: You mean, can I know they should?
Andi: Yes.
S: Mmmm. Yes I… Well, I'm not sure about absolutely!
Andi: S. the work works when you answer the questions. The minute you go back into the story, the work stops working because you're not doing it. Can you commit to a YES or NO answer? Just be honest from where you are right now. Who knows what's going to happen a minute from now. So what do you say?
S: Okay. Yes. Yes, I can know that my government should do these things. Isn't that what we pay them for? (laughs)
Andi: Great. You committed with a yes. Great work. Now, how do you live your life believing this thought? Tell me where it hits you in your body?
S: In my chest. When I think about how the government has been screwing up, it hits me in the chest .I want to scream. It's ridiculous how they can be so inept.
Andi: And how do you treat yourself believing this thought, "My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable."
S: I never really thought about that before. [long pause] I... I treat myself like I belong to them. Whoever they are. Gotta tell you that's a revelation. It just occurred to me that I feel like a victim of what the government does.
Andi: Does that feel good?
S: Hell no! It sucks. I don't like the feeling at all but I never really got that I felt victimized until right now. I saw myself as having rights that they're ignoring or not working to protect.
Andi: And what else happens? For example, how do you treat others when you believe this thought -- how do you treat a politician? In your thoughts...
S: [laughs] I want to beat the crap out of 'em. That's just a mental picture that runs through my mind sometimes. Really I just want them to get it; to get how the decisions they're making effect everyone in this country. And they don't. They don't get it.
Andi: So… let's stay in the work here. I hear you saying they don't get it. Is that true they don't get it?
S: Yes.
Andi: Can you absolutely know that's true.
S: Well, it looks that way to me.
Andi: A Yes or a No…
S: Oh right… Yes
Andi: And how does it make you live your life when you believe they don't get it?
S: It makes me angry. Frustrated.
Andi: Turn it around, "They don't get it"
S: Um… turn it around... They do get it?
Andi: Yes. And could that be truer than "they don't get it"?
S: Some of them. I suppose it could...
Andi: Can you give three reasons why it could be truer?
S: Some politicians do try to do good things. But…
Andi: Can you name at least one?
S: Does a mayor count?
Andi: Sure. I think Mayors are considered politicians. [laughs]
S: Well, ok. I know a Mayor personally who really works hard. So there's one.
Andi: That's one. Two more reasons why it could be truer that they do get it?
S: I see some people in public office are at least trying to make an effort. And… You know I see what you mean. The statement, "They don't get it" isn't really true. It's a blanket statement that I don't know for absolutely sure applies to every single person in government. I see that…
Andi: Can you find another turn around?
S: To…?
Andi: To the statement, "They don't get it". How about plugging in "I"...
S: I don't get it?
Andi: Yes… Can you find that is true or truer than the original statement?
S: Yeah. I know I don't get it. I know I don't. That's why I'm not a politician and don't pretend to be…
Andi: But you can be sure they don't get, what you know you don't get?
S: [pauses] I guess I thought so! [laughs] I'm pretty bold! I guess I was pretty full of myself huh...
Andi: It's okay to be bold - and it's even more okay to question our thoughts. Look, we all believe our thoughts until we question them. This is extremely brave work you're doing here.
S: Damn. I was ready to hang them ALL out to dry. This is opening up other ways to see this.
Andi: That's what the work is for - to open things up. That's what it's all about… And can you see how you were ready to beat them up? Who's not safe and secure in that picture?
S: Oh man. I have had mental images of beating somebody up but I wouldn't say that was serious. Like... I wouldn't ever really do that.
Andi: No. Just in your mind.
S: Hmm. Yeah. Maybe the ones who need to be worried are the politicians!
Andi: And maybe they are. Especially if they know people are believing the thought that government should keep them safe, secure and comfortable. Okay. Let's go back to our first statement, "My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable" Can you find a reason, that's not stressful - not stressful - to keep this thought?
S: It would feel better if the government could keep this country safe with so many terrorist threats out there.
Andi: That doesn't sound like a very stress free reason to keep this thought.
S: Oh. Stress free… [pause] I can't think of one.
Andi: Can you see a reason to drop this belief? And I'm not asking you to. I'm only asking if you can see a reason to drop it?
S: Yeah, I can see a reason. It's stressful for one thing.
Andi: S. what if you couldn't think this thought? How would you live your life when you think about your government ...and about being safe, secure and comfortable and you just couldn't think this thought? Close your eyes for a moment please. Go to a time - perhaps recently - when you've been discussing politics with someone. Just be there a moment… what happens when you cannot think this thought?
S: [eyes closed] Hmm. I could have a conversation about what's going on without getting so worked up. I can see myself listening more. It would be …a relief.
Andi: Beautiful. What an insight. Now turn this around to it's exact opposite, "My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable."
S: My government should not keep me safe, secure and comfortable.
Andi: Is that true or truer than the original statement?
S: It feels truer.It really does. It isn't the government's job to do those things the way I thought it was. I can see how government plays a role though. Like if there was a military attack or something along those lines.
Andi: I hear you. And when is the last time you were attacked by the military?
S: Well... 9/11
Andi: Were you attacked on 9/11?
S: The country was.
Andi: Here's the question, "Were you attacked?"
S: No. I wasn't personally.
Andi: Were you safe on 9/11?
S: Yes.
Andi: You were safe.
S: Yes. I was.
Andi: And your family?
S: Yes. They were safe too.
Andi: Did you put yourself in the place of people in New York?
S: I did.
Andi: And how does that feel?
S: Terrible. Terrifying.
Andi: And yet you were safe, right?
S: Yes. But..
Andi: There you were in terror. And yet you were... safe.
S: Yes. I was terrified. I still am at times. It wasn't me in those buildings. I was safe.
Andi: And are you safe right now? As we're sitting here having this conversation?
S: Yes. Wow. I see this...
Andi: Can you give three reasons why it's true or truer that it's not the government's job to keep you safe, secure and comfortable?
S: Because there are more people and places in this country than government resources.
Andi: That's one.
S: Government was never really set up to do that. At least not originally.
Andi: And we only believe that it's the job of government to do these things for us.
S: Yeah. More and more I think.
Andi: One more reason?
S: If government were to do that wouldn't we live in a socialist country? Come to think of it, it actually says in the constitution, for the people and by the people.
Andi: That's quite an observation. You've been believing the government should do what you're not willing to do?
S: That's a tough one. I never looked at it like that.
Andi: Don't beat yourself. The mind believes what it thinks... until we question it. But we can question and experience true freedom. We can set ourselves free anytime we want. So, can you find another turn around for "My government should keep me safe, secure and comfortable."
S: My government shouldn't… Let's see… they should do what they're doing…
Andi: Use the same phrase exactly and just turn it around another way.
S: My government... [pause]
Andi: I can see one. Would you like to hear it? "I" should…
S: Of course, I should keep me safe, secure and comfortable. Yes. Of course. It is up to me to do that.
Andi: That's a good one. Got three reasons why this is true or truer…?
S: Well for one thing I know what my needs are. The government doesn't seem to get it. Whoops! [laughs] What I mean is, I know immediately what my needs are and I can take action. If I'm waiting on the government things take forever.
Andi: There's a good one to question later! Find two more…
S: What's good to question?
Andi: "With the government things take forever." Write that one down for later. It's a pretty good one.
S: Ah. Okay.
Andi: And two more reasons?
S: There's a lot of things I don't need government to do for me.
Andi: That's a great one. And one more.
S: [long pause] You know, it could actually be my way of contributing to my country to take care of myself, my family and maybe those who need some help.
Andi: That's very insightful...
S: I can do my part by staying focused in what I need to do and let the government do what it needs to do.
Andi: How are you feeling right now working through this thought?
S: It's actually a relief. And eye-opening! I see that I can make a difference. I mean really make a difference. I feel like I've got something to offer I didn't see before. Just by doing what I need to do, it's a contribution.
Andi: If I think the government can or should keep me safe and secure, I'm insane... plus it hurts deeply when the disappointment comes and government doesn't live up to what I think should be going on -- that isn't. Nothing outside of us has the power to make us miserable. All the suffering in the world, is in the mind. It never has anything to do with events or circumstances. Question the mind and you can set yourself free every time. And besides... sane people make better decision... [grins]
S: That's true or truer. [laughs] Thank you Andi for doing this with me.
Andi: Thank you dear S., for your fearlessness and for doing such great work!
Would You Like To Work With Andi?
If you'd like to do the Work of the Four Question with Andi, you're invited to join us in the coming weeks - right here at MayanCalendarCode.com - in upcoming live teleseminars. If you're not yet subscribed to recieve The Code Newsletter go here to subscribe and get the workshop schedule.
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